My name is Shelley Coats and my husband is Cody. We have gone to church together since we were 10 yrs old and got married and had our beautiful daughter Elyonna in 2017. Since we had our daughter so easily, we just assumed that we would have no problem expanding our family.
In December 2018, we decided to try for a sibling for Ely. As before, we got a positive test immediately! Unfortunately I began to bleed shortly after and was diagnosed with an ectopic pregnancy. I had my right tube and the baby removed in February 2019.
Per our doctors lead, we continued to try for 6 months with no luck. I had an HSG done October 2019 where we found my left tube to be completely blocked as well. At this point we were convinced that Elyonna was a miracle child. This was the first time I broke down about my infertility. I cried my way out of the hospital and the whole way home. This was my first “why me?” moment.
I had my first appointment at Fertility Associates Of Memphis in December 2019 where I was diagnosed with hydrosalpinx and had my left tube removed in January 2020.
Since I had no tubes, it was time to move forward with IVF if we wanted to expand our family. We had zero fertility coverage, so at the mercy of our savings account, a t shirt fundraiser and generous family we were able to pay for it without debt.
Due to Covid, our March retrieval turned to May and we were able to transfer a grade A egg on August 12th, 2020. We were fortunate enough for it to work the first time and I am currently 20 weeks pregnant.
Being pregnant after a loss is much different than how I felt with my first. The anxiety I feel daily for this baby to stay healthy is crippling, but all we can do is trust in Gods plan for our growing baby boy.
The best advice I can give is to talk about it. Don’t just talk about the happy moments, but talk about the bad. Discuss the times you screamed at God asking “why me?” As much as you discuss the great things he’s done. Infertility is an emotional draining experience and it’s okay to talk about it.
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