Jimmy and Allyson

To all of my fertility WARRIORS,

I have two wonderful, handsome boys from a previous marriage. So when I decided to try for our Addy, I thought give it 3 months and I’ll be pregnant! How exciting! I stopped my birth control and found a cute little onesie on Etsy that I couldn’t wait to use to tell my husband the good news of us expecting our bundle of joy.

Month one went by, month two and three and four and five.....well you get my point. What was going on? I had easily gotten pregnant with my boys. Test after test went into the trash can. The bag with the onesie stayed hidden without a chance to be used.

My sister told me I should see a fertility doctor. What? Because of my age she told me not to wait. So....that’s what we did. 2 surgeries for endometriosis later, and me being thrown into “menopause” in between....I just knew that was going to get me pregnant! NOPE.

We moved into doing an IUI. This was our answer! NOPE. Then another IUI with another big fat NOPE.

Testing anxiety is real y’all. Those tests being thrown in the trash every month had taken its toll.

I was then told my AMH level dropped in half within 6 months. Time to act fast. We scheduled a consult in Nashville and went for another IUI while we waited for the appointment and for the IVF meds to get here. I mean, why not right?! 🤦🏼‍♀️

We literally found out our last IUI didn’t work and moved into the IVF process IMMEDIATELY. Like days. Do you even have the time to process any of that grief? No, you don’t. You keep pushing.

IVF was the most taxing thing I have ever done in my life. I was a single mom to both of my boys and it didn’t even come close to the process of IVF. I found new ways to love God. I found new ways to find peace. I found new ways to love. And I also found new ways to be hurt or angry. How to get in my car and yell at the top of my lungs. Dry my tears, and walk back through my front door.

The wonderful news of our miracle baby came to me after our first transfer! I was FINALLY able to unwrap the onesie I still had in the bag. I just stared at it. Could this even be real!?!

Our happiest of moments came to a crushing halt. My second beta didn’t rise. Crushing. So we sat and waited for our third. It still didn’t rise. DEVASTATING. I was told to stop taking my meds and that I didn’t have a viable pregnancy. But God. Always remember GOD! I said no. I refused. I told my nurse to tell the doctor I will be having another beta. She said you would be the first to have a fourth beta..... ok honey....I’ll be the first! Bring it!

Guess what? My numbers more than doubled for the 4th beta! The best thing I ever did was listen to my heart. Listen to my body! Even though it didn’t end there..we were told it could be tubal, that she could have implanted in the wrong spot etc etc etc. The tugging and pulling just didn’t seem to quit. The ups and downs. The tears I was praying for God to hear. I was going to stop at nothing to fight for my precious baby!

All the fighting is worth it. All the pain is worth it. All the days I sat outside praying was worth it. Addy is now a healthy, thriving BEAUTIFUL baby! She’s a fighter as well because she had to fight the fight in the NICU for 9 solid long days.

There’s no stopping fire, love and determination. Or God.

We are truly blessed! And so are you my friends ♥️