Brittany and Casey

3 years ago, late 2017 my husband and I started to try to conceive. We tried for a year naturally without success and were referred to a fertility specialist. I had a series of tests which concluded endometrial cysts but not much else. My husband's sperm was tested and there were no abnormalities. Male factor is not an issue.

I was then referred to a reproductive endocrinologist. She tested my ovarian reserve and it came back very low. This was the moment I realized all those years of not getting pregnant and all the ruptured cysts meant I truly did have a problem. This was the moment the pressure and emotions of this process began for me. I sat in my car and cried. It never felt real until this moment. I knew it was going to be a long road from here.

We moved forward with a HSG and a blockage was discovered in my right fallopian tube. We scheduled surgery in Oct 2019 to have my blocked fallopian tube removed, but once inside, my surgeon discovered scar tissue fusing my right tube to my right ovary, as well as to my bowel and appendix. The decision was made to leave the tube, so as not to cause any damage to my right ovary and the eggs within it, since my reserve was already low. They also made a clinical diagnosis of stage 2 endometriosis during this surgery. She excised what she could.

We moved to timed intercourse with medication (Letrozole) for a few cycles with no luck. We decided to move to IUI with Letrozole and Ovidrel in March 2020, however Covid put a halt to treatments for a few months. Treatments started back up in May with my 1st IUI cycle. Everything looked good. I had several mature follicles, my lining was good and thick. Then the dreaded 2 week wait. I don't think I slept for 2 weeks, and stayed up all night googling (huge mistake for various reasons). After 2 weeks, my period did not come. I was 2 days late. My cycle has always been VERY consistent, so this filled us with so much hope that proved to be false when my period finally did arrive. That roller coaster of emotions continued the next month. The next IUI cycle was exactly the same, maybe a couple less follicles. 2 week wait - late period - still not a success.

I decided to take a few months off for my mental health. I was putting a lot of pressure on myself. It was affecting my marriage. My husband is extremely supportive, but he does not feel the pressure I am experiencing.

We had our 3rd IUI in October 2020. It was not successful. I had a large cyst present during that cycle, and it has caused me pain, so I am taking time off until January 2021. My husband would like to try IUI again, and I am fine with that. My fear is we will be moving to IVF.

We both have great insurance, so my ultrasounds were covered along with my HSG and the various test. The IUI procedure, the sperm wash and ovidrel are not covered. We are so fortunate that the ultrasounds are covered as I require a baseline each month due to my history of cysts. Multiple ultrasounds per cycle can get very costly. We are exploring our options to help fund IVF as it is not covered by our insurance. I am not one to ever reach out to family/friends, so we are trying on our own to find a way. We have even looked into changing jobs to companies that offer coverage for infertility. We both love our jobs, but this is so important to us.

I am hopeful for 2021, although the constant fear lingers in my soul that I may never birth a child. I have experienced a lot of shame being almost 35 and still childless. I want to be able to give my husband a child. Finding TN Fertility Advocates has helped my mental health immensely. Hearing others stories that are similar to mine gives me so much hope. I need to find patience within myself so I can be present in this moment. It will happen. I just know it!