Within the first year of our marriage, we noticed we were not getting pregnant. I made an appointment with my OB/GYN. That is when the journey began. The doctor started us on Clomid. Ovulation shots began after a few failed rounds of Clomid. We did ten months of Clomid with maxed dosage every month, monthly ovulation shots, and monthly blood work. We still were not pregnant. The financial journey has been out of pocket because our insurance did not cover it. At this time, paying out of pocket was manageable.
You see, I am a teacher, and I care for many children that are not mine year after year. While going through the infertility treatments, I maintained the strength to keep teaching. It was hard. I kept showing up for my children at 7 am with a smile and a good morning because I knew they needed me. I tried to hide that I was walking in pain. After 10 months of failed attempts to get pregnant, hiding puffy eyes from students, and smiling through the disappointment…I asked my husband for a break. I was physically and emotionally drained from the weight of being a teacher and wanting to build a family of my own.
We took about 7 months off before we called the doctor again. He referred us to Nashville Infertility Center. We were meeting virtually by this time. The first thing he set up was an HSG. Super uncomfortable and my experience was painful for that quick moment in time. But, worth it. We found out why we were not getting pregnant.
The HSG revealed that my fallopian tubes were damaged, inflated, blocked, filled with fluid, and everything else the doctor said. Basically, my tubes were the cause of us not getting pregnant. IUI would not have worked because the fluids blocked the sperm from reaching the egg. The doctor said, Greg could have super sperm and it still would not be enough because it would not have made it through my fallopian tubes because of the fluid. The only option for us would be IVF. After more examinations, my doctor found fibroids. He recommended surgery. So, we did. The surgery was to remove my fallopian tubes to avoid any fluid dripping during IVF and the surgery was to remove my fibroids.
Here is where my heart had the most trouble and my mind battled freedom. Serving my community as a teacher, I would think they would support their teachers with their own family building. I have been ‘like a second mom’ to so many children. I want to be somebody’s first mom, just mom. My school system does not offer infertility treatment. I took the step to appeal and ask for coverage.
However, they denied coverage. Year after year I raise children that are not mine, as a teacher. We want the support to have children of our own. They did not consider even to cover a little bit of IVF. We do not know how we will afford IVF treatments, but we are STILL trusting and believing God will make a way.
I still return to school with a troubled heart, and my mind battling freedom every day. I give my heart selflessly to children and come home to the echo of my voice praying and the sound of my tears dropping on the carpet in an empty room dedicated to a miracle.
So many questions. But, our hope and trust is in God. The only miracle worker we know. We (or maybe I) created a virtual diary that brings me hope. It is a virtual diary that I get a moment to talk to little baby Richmond and tell him, her, or them that I am thinking of them, and I am preparing for them.
Thank you TN Advocacy Group for allowing me to tell my story. Please, keep fighting for infertility coverage so women like me would have the opportunity and the possibility to build a family without the financial stress. Thank you for every prayer and support while we walk in our journey, #TheRichmondExperience
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